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3 Major Soul-Sucking Emotions

Our emotions are either energizers or suckers to our soul. There are emotions that fill your body with breaths of life, and others that just make you feel like you got hit by a bus. We've all experienced both ends of this spectrum at some time in our life or another. 

I was on a mission to remove the soul suckers and add more of the energizers, so I started working on a system that would help tap into the energy created during each emotion I was feeling.

I wrote them down, I sat with them, I labored over them, I wanted to feel and understand the purpose of each emotion. I didn't want to remove a soul sucker if it was an important one, one that I needed to really feel.

soul sucking emotions

Truth is...we NEED to be able to feel every emotion, but you have the choice about which ones you want to really sit with. Avoiding our emotions is the quickest way to get stuck, and stop moving forward. Feeling our negative emotions, and not avoiding them, is the only way to succeed. 

Think about that for a second. We constantly avoid things like fear, humiliation, criticism, vulnerability. But what is on the other side of each of these emotions? Success. And if not success, at least an experience that will lead to a future success. We have to willing to feel negative emotions if we're going to grow and eventually succeed. 

Behind every emotion you feel, you should ask why - what thought created this emotion? If it's an irrational or invalid one, you should choose to not feel that way.

I found that there are some soul suckers that you should absolutely not sit with for too long, don't let these guys simmer. Yes, FEEL THEM, but then move on anyway. I encourage you to personally get in tune with your emotional energizers and emotional soul suckers. 

Emotional Soul Suckers aka Wasters of our Energy:

1. Guilt. Guilt is defined as the feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc...whether real or imagined. I want to focus on that last part "whether real or imagined." Most of the guilt we feel comes from an imagined offense. Or an offense that the other person/thing does not even feel offended by. Guilt is self-imposed, yet it is so powerful that it can run your life, sabotage your goals, and suck major amounts of energy from your soul.

Don't take this the wrong way! Guilt is super important to feel and recognize when we have committed an offense. It is important that we have a conscious that encourages us to feel apologetic for our wrong-doings, but simmering guilt gets us nowhere and eventually turns into guilt's evil cousin, shame. Be aware and apologetic of your real or imagined wrong doing, and then move on. 

In my previous life I would feel guilty for leaving my dog in his crate while I went to work. I would beat myself up, I thought I was a bad dog-mom, I would fear that he was upset with me! Then I snapped out of it. He is a dog, and not only that, but he's a dog with a pretty spectacular life. He also had no idea that I was feeling guilty about the entire situation, he can't know, feel, or understand my guilt. What a waste of my emotional energy right?! Soul sucker. 

2. Worry. You've heard the one about the rocking chair right? It gives you something to do, but it never gets you anywhere. It's true, but I'll go even further to say that while you're doing "something" you're still losing a lot of ground. It does get you somewhere, it pushes you backwards. You spend time and energy on worrying, it wastes time you could be spending on solving the problem that is worrying you, and it wastes any energy you would have to do that. Worry serves us no purpose, it doesn't change anything, it just drains us. 

Turn worry into analysis. Worry is passive - we sit and wait. Analysis is active - we evaluate various options in preparation to take action. When you find yourself worrying, start analyzing and actively brainstorming some solutions instead. It may even energize you!

3. Unforgiveness. Literally referred to as a "spiritual poison." Need I say more? No, but I will. Unforgiveness is actually one of those emotions that festers and harbors other negative emotions. While unforgiveness seeps through your pores, it also invites anger, hurt, resentment, and even revenge to join the pity party. Unforgiveness will hold you prisoner, and only forgiveness will set you free. 

Unforgiveness does not make the wrong doer feel anything. In fact, you can't make anyone feel anything, only they can do that. They may not even be aware that you are overflowing with negative emotions...so what's the point? You're creating your own suffering here.

Forgiveness does not equate condoning or accepting the wrong doing. What forgiveness does do is allow you to release all the negative energy that you are hoarding inside of you. Forgiveness then fills you with positive energy and encourages you to move on with your happy and peaceful life.

For me, I had a ton of unforgiveness hoarded up for years against my biological mother. She was an alcoholic and abusive and it took a toll on us all for many years. When I was about to enter the 7th grade we (as in my brother and I) were visiting my dad for the weekend (joint custody style) and she called to tell us not to come back. So that was it! Never saw her again, except for that one time in high school when we went to lunch and she ordered a drink...bye. 

I was holding onto a lot of pain by not forgiving her for the abandonment. As an adult I did a lot of therapy and coaching work...where I eventually had a breakthrough that helped me to realize she gave us up because she loved us. Because she knew she was not doing the best job as a mother, and that my dad could be a much better parent and influence. 

That breakthrough allowed me to forgive, and holy bananas was a load lifted from my heart and soul!

soul sucking emotions

Still not sure how to choose happiness? Just smile. No, really. It's been proven that holding a smile for 30 seconds will actually make you happier! Heck, why not try it?!

Want to make me happier? 

Tell me in the comments about a negative emotion that you've been avoiding...

Tell me about an emotion that is sucking your soul and you're allowing it to simmer for some reason or another...

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